Meal times

We stayed with a family of six in America for a week leading up to our son's wedding in June, and on the first day we arranged to have lunch with our hosts.  We are glad we did, because it was the only meal we had with the four of us together all week.

How did we manage to stay a whole week and not sit down for an evening meal together?

• We arrived on the Sunday, and met the parents of the bride for the first time, and she cooked enchiladas  for us all. We felt welcomed by Kim's parents right from the start.
• On Monday John & Kim wanted to take both lots of parents for a meal together. An evening remembered for the number of restaurants that were closed and how how hot it still was at 10.30pm when we left.
• Tuesday was Baseball night in Milwaukee for some, complete with beer and hot dog with fries, and preparing table decorations for others.
• The bride's shower and the groom's bachelor party were both on Wednesday, so we ended up at two different venues. I stayed at home, as our hosts were hosting the bachelor party.
• On Thursday we started preparing the trifles. My part was a shopping trip, all the more fun as John arrived just in time to come with me. The younger ones watched a movie downstairs, and we got pizzas in.
• The wedding rehearsal was on Friday evening, and we did get to eat with our hosts, and about 50 others at Pazzo's, with trifles for afters.
• The wedding on Saturday was wonderful, and on Sunday we went home.

We may not have had many meals together, but we were well looked after by our hosts.

The Song of Achilles

This is a great story and a very enjoyable read. Madeline Miller has made ancient Greece and the battle for Troy to be accessible, believable and fun. The story is told in the first person by Patroclus, Achilles friend and companion.

It is hard to believe, in the opening chapters, that anything good can happen in Patroclus' life. Motherless, a disappointment to his father, a natural victim, he fights back against one of his tormentors, who falls, hitting his head and dies. Patroclus is exiled to Phthia, and has every reason to hate Phthia's prince Achilles, who has taken for himself Patroclus' only possession, his mother's lyre.

But Achilles has chosen Patroclus as his companion, his therapon, his brother-in-arms. The friendship grows in childhood, through their education by Chiron the centaur, in hiding on the Isle of Scyros, and eventually what Achilles was born for, the battle for Troy.

It is a strange world, Greece in the age of heroes, where the gods have children with mortals, take sides in battles, and men value honour and reputation more than happiness or friendship. Men fight in mortal combat all day but shake hands at dusk when the heralds say it is time to stop.

What makes it such an enjoyable read is Miller's handling of the psychology. Whether it is a boy's feelings about change, a father's hope for his children, a woman's choice in difficult circumstances, or a prince's reaction to not being honoured as he expects; it is all very believable and real.

It would be a rare book to have no sex, and this one includes homosexual love, but it is understated and not overly emphasised.  The battle lust is much more vividly portrayed.

What turns the book from an absorbing experience to the thrilling page turner in the final chapters is not sex, or battlefield. Nor is it medicine or Patroclus' bravery, or the loyalty of the slave girl Briseis,  though they deserve mentioning.  It is the relationship between the Greek princes.  

It is their petty jealousies, their blind pride, the perceived insults and failure to back down which cause the calamities, and gives the story its momentum.  The book is a wonderful introduction to the world of Homer, and much more easy to read.

http://www.madelinemiller.com/the-song-of-achilles/

Driving in Kenosha

Earlier this year I had my first experience of driving in America. We were lent a black Kia, and I became a Dallas Cowboys supporter for the week.

I was glad to be picked up from the airport, and see how Americans drive on the interstate. They have a relaxed attitude to lanes, overtaking on the inside rather than getting wound up at people staying in an outside or middle lane.  Quite a good idea, really.
Apart from one trip to watch a baseball game in Milwaukee, all my driving was in Kenosha and Pleasant Prairie. I am sure Chicago and downtown Milwaukee would have been a bit different, but the experience was quite relaxed.
The roads are generally straight, and quite wide, and there is very little on street parking, and plenty of parking by the shops. The speed limits are relatively slow, 45, 35 and 25mph, and the car was automatic with air conditioning, and we were on holiday.
Of course driving on the right was different, and a couple of occasions I would have caused an accident, but for a sharp cry from Ann in the passenger seat or good reactions the other driver. There was also a slight sense of unease, on turning left on a wider road, as if there might be traffic on the other side of the road coming from behind rather than in front.

I found it difficult to get used to the four way stop.  These also served to make the driving feel relaxed, because when you get to one of these you slow right down and stop, even when you can see there is no other car there. If there is another car already there, you give way to them.
It is so different to almost every junction here  in the UK where one road is the major road with right of way, and the other is the minor road and gives way.  I arrived at one four way stop from what felt a very minor road, when a truck was coming from left to right - all my instincts were to stay still until he had passed, but it did not happen  -- he started to slow down, and I needed to move off so as to not delay him more than necessary. It did feel weird.
There is not a great deal of difference between the look of a stop sign at a minor road, and a four way stop, which got me beeped at on one occasion. After stopping at what I thought was a four way stop I started to go expecting the car yet to arrive at the stop would do the same. Well he did, and beeped at me, because he had the right of way.

Finding you way around Kenosha is very easy. All the Avenues run North South, and are numbered from the   shoreline out to the west, and all the streets run East West, and are numbered from number 1 in the north to 128 on the border with Illinois.  If you are heading for 7426 27th Avenue, you know to find it between 74th and 75 street.  It was basically very easy.
There are some complications. One is that the major roads are also known by their state numbers, so that 104th street is also route 165, and 7th street is also route 50. Another is that you cannot just turn up any street or avenue and expect to get where you want, as some are discontinuous. You get to learn which streets (80th 85th 104th) and which Avenues (22nd 39th) will get you through rather than deliver you to a dead end. Choosing a road with traffic lights at the junction is a good clue.  Then some roads run at angles to the grid system, or take different numbers as they weave around.  Sheridan Road, also route 32, is 13th Ave in toward the south and 9th Avenue near the town centre.  Even with the complications, we managed to get almost everywhere without the need of a map.
Back in the UK I looked at the Google map of Racine, the neighbouring town to the north.  It was most confusing! Most of the roads had names instead of numbers, Avenues ran East West as well as North South,  and so did the streets. I am glad we were not so adventurous as to look there, I have no idea how they manage.

So, on to the final story, which was second to last night. I was grateful to our hosts, who had lent the car for driving us home at the end of the festivities on the Saturday. On the Friday night I drove home, starting with dropping one family member off elsewhere. The first leg of the journey was fine, but shortly after restarting there were flashing lights from a police car behind, so I came to a stop, and the police stopped some distance behind.
I do not often get stopped in this or any other country, and did not see any problem with getting out and making my way to them to see what the problem was. They were quick and forceful in making sure I understood I was to get back in the car. It was not a pleasant experience. It turned out I had forgotten to turn the lights back on after the stop, so after a lot of questions, when he eventually let us go on, I was glad to be making my way with lights on the rest of the journey.

A Father's Blessing

John & Kim, dearly loved, greatly treasured, highly esteemed.

As you have each been as individuals, so may you ever be, and all the more so, as a married couple.

May the son of man, who did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many, be your helper as you learn to love and serve each other in marriage.

May the Lord lead you and bless you richly, in friendship, in hospitality, in parenting, in mentoring, in ministry, in witness, in music, and in celebration.

And in all that the Lord leads you into, may you ever find time and space for one another in the marriage, so that you will each know yourselves, to be loved, treasured and esteemed by the other.

June 23rd 2012.

Marc Chagall

February last year four of us went to Nice, and we visited the Marc Chagall museum. We walked from our hotel, and up the hill near the flyover. Presumably there is a car park, but from the gate we went in we saw a garden, ticket office and shop to the left, a conservatory housing a cafe to the right, and the single storey museum ahead.
The museum houses three major collections, a biblical series, and two on the Song of Solomon, one by Chagall, and one by another artist.  We looked at the biblical scenes first, and that is what I recall most. There is also a cinema showing a film about the artist, that did not hold my attention, as it was in French. Along the side there is a big stained glass window, and there are three sets of sketches he made in designing them.
The first painting in the biblical collection is Abraham, and that is the one I remember most vividly.  It shares many of the features found in the other paintings.
The first thing I noticed was the scale. These are large paintings filling up large sections of wall.  Each one hung in its own section of wall, and was very imposing.
There are broad blocks of vibrant colour, the angels are blue, with white wings, all against a red background. Other paintings had broad blocks of colour. One of the garden of Eden was largely green, with a bright bush of with lots of bright colours, and the one of the flood was unusual for having mainly brown.
Line was an important part of each composition. The angels sat at a horizontal table, and their wings made fairly vertical lines, while a separate scene off the the top right was separated by wide arc.  Other paintings were notable for their juxtaposition of straight and curved lines at different angles.
Another thing that impressed me was the texture. Large blocks of the Abraham painting were red background, but none of it was plain red. The whole area was a rich mixture of brushstrokes, giving a vivid interest without detracting from the characters in the painting.
It was a feature of many of the paintings to have smaller subsidiary scenes tucked away in part of the canvas. Sometimes this was another episode from the same story, in others, it was images from elsewhere or recent past.  Another feature was rather strange fanciful animals that filled up parts of the canvas.
By the end we had become quite familiar with his style, and can often recognise his paintings when we meet them somewhere else now.
My recollection of the Song of Solomon series was that they were generally lighter and brighter, with pale or white backgrounds.
We ended the visit with some lunch in the cafe, which we ate at one of the tables out on the grass.  Here we took some pictures of the palms growing, which proved almost as inspirational as the museum.
So, there it is. It has taken me eighteen months to write it, but I guess it is easier to write more succinctly looking back than nearer the time.